If you do lots of sparring that will work your endurance alot, so I'd lift for explosiveness, low reps and sets with heavy weights. Some will say lift for muscular endurance, but if you grappler hard a couple times a wekk, I wouldnt bother. As for exercise the Soviets did extensive studies on their Judo team and found the most useful lifts were the bench(for pushing) the deadlift(for pulling) and the power clean for overall explosiveness. I know that Judo and BJJ are different, but I am unaware of any studies on Bjj, certainly explosiveness is not as required in BJJ as it is in Judo, but it is still nice to have. I wouldnt worry about little muscles like biceps and calves. But you might wanna do bridges, your neck muscles get stronger at an amaziningly quick rate.
I can't, but I can just tell you, to be good at BJJ limber hipjoints are crucial.
HTTP://www,mixedmartialarts.com You will find techniques there, an advice section and they sell the only decent grappling book out there.the fighters notebook. also
http://www.jiu-jitsu.net has some cool stuff.