Well, let me go ahead and throw in my 2 cents. I believe the solution to be a combination of 3 things.
1) Experience 2) As posted previously, 'Soft Focus' or as I like to say, 'Zoom out' (Look at the whole mountain Danielson, and do not stare at the rocks. - You notice when a mountain moves) 3) (also as posted earlier) Being put in the box or corner and forced to defend.
All of these things lead to your confidence level going up. Some flinching, I believe to be a good thing. Your body is responding to an attack. Your reflex takes over. The techniques that you have conditioned yourself to use just seem to happen without you having to think about it. For that matter if you have to stop and think, you are already hit.